My cats are my best friends; I enjoy their company and love watching them, playing with them, having conversations with them. To anyone who doesn't have pets it seems a bit strange and probably crazy. But just like people have kids, people have pets who are their kids.
I could be in the shittiest mood, the minute one of my cats walks up to me, I have a huge smile on my face.
I had four cats at one point, Freeway left us in 2005. He was so sweet and brought so much joy into my life. He was actually my first cat in the US.
Zoe was my third and very special. I found her (together with my ex) in Jersey City. We got home late that night after rehearsal, parked the car and heard a loud "meow" while walking to our place. We looked around but didn't see anything, and there it was again a loud "meow". Our street was pretty quite and I believe it was winter time. There was a cute little kittie under a street light, we walked over and she jumped into my exes arms immediately...that was it.
She had a tag with her name and number. At the time we had two cats, Freeway and Heidi, so we figured, maybe she just got lost, we called the number to return her but the number was disconnected. We even did a reverse look-up online and found her address, drove by the house the next day but the owner was gone. Put in jail, which we found out from the neighbors.
It was obvious that ZOE found herself a new home;) At first I thought she was a strange looking kittie. She didn't care for the other cats at all. She'd totally ignore them. It was pretty funny. She seemed to be a "people" cat. Perfect as the only cat in the house. I taught her to be more affectionate by picking her up, petting her, holding her and kissing her. In the beginning it seemed that she just wanted to be left alone but slowly she started to love the attention.
I started to work from home a lot and Zoe started to hang out with me, all day. It was so cool; that's when I started to feel close to her, she became a really cool and close companion of mine. I'd look forward to working and seeing her next to me.
She was so fluffy and light. Her eyes big like a potato bug, lol Her markings were all off; she looked like she was wearing a tuxedo. She'd walk so funny, one foot in front of the other. When she'd run it looked like she was dancing. So precious, elegant and gracious. She'd hide and sleep in the closet, all the way on top.
What I found out later....
Zoe loved music and was extremely musical, I discovered that in LA. When I moved into an apartment and started recording and teaching at home, Zoe would always be around and she'd totally be into it.
I had a friend who I recorded, whenever we'd start recording vocals, Zoe would go crazy, running around, playing with her toy (the one with the bell inside it), she'd chase her tail or rub up against my friend. At one point we had to lock her out cause she was so noisy, lol it was hilarious.
I'd work on music, turn around to see if she's responding. If she didn't I knew it wasn't good enough. She became my muse. Whenever I'd teach I'd look over and she'd be hanging from the chair either bored, annoyed or excited, it would make me laugh (of course often I had to pretend I didn't see that, lol) Sometimes she'd leave the room, lol
I'd look into her eyes and we'd totally communicate. It sounds crazy but I've never felt so much love in my life. I did feel the same way with Freeway.
Zoe, Johnny and Heidi became really good friends, what a great feeling to wake up with all of them, and catching them hanging out together.
Another funny thing was that she loved plastic. She'd chew on anything that's plastic. I'd come home from shopping, empty the bags and she'd be on it or in it chewing away. She loved food, she'd beg while we're eating and of course I'd always give in. She'd wake me up in the morning meowing, walk all over me, lay one me and stare in my face....kinda saying "get up, I'm hungry" .lol Once she meowed so loud and long I was stunned...I called Jim and told him she's got the most amazing singing voice. I swear it sounded like she was singing me a song. She was very vocal.
Zoe loved catnip. lol She'd go crazy, she'd roll around in it and just stare, looking all stoned. lol
I'd sit down meditate or watch a movie, she'd jump in my lap and chill. I'd work out, she's sit on my mat watching me...lol She'd watch me work on the computer and meow and jump on my lap.
I'd make a new dress or outfit and she'd sit there watch me, sitting in the fabric and just purr, play with it.
I'd work on music for hours she'd come up and sit next to the computer. She loved to be near me, near people, near music. I'd have people over, she'd sit either on their bag, guitar case, shoes or lap. lol
Johnny loved her big time. He'd cramp her style and squeeze in just to be next to her. So cute.
She'd hang out on the chair and just go crazy, biting and kicking the shit out of it, it was so funny. We'd spin the chair and she'd get even more into it.
Every time I'd walk to the fridge she'd come running, I'd hand feed her turkey and she'd bite my finger and purr so loud. She was a little monster. She'd often camp out by the food bowl acting like she's starving. lol
I'd have food in the garbage, get up the next morning and find the garbage can turned upside down on the kitchen floor. She chewed up all the chicken bones. Crazy!
She loved turkey...even during her last days, she still had an healthy appetite.
When she got sick, I'd ask her every night before going to bed to not give up on me cause I'm not giving up on her, and sure enough I'd wake up, walk in the kitchen at 7:30 am to give her her medicine and she'd be there for me, fighting through it. Cats are tough but I realized that it was selfish of me to keep her existing like this just to have her around. I wanted her to be well again but realized I had to let her go. It was and still is heartbreaking.
I am grateful for our 15 years together. No one can take that from us and nothing will ever replace her.
I am so grateful for Heidi and Johnny, they miss her too, my apartment feels empty without her here. I used to call her my little panda...because sometimes when she'd sleep she totally looked like one.
I originally named her Zoe Van Bowie but she was way too musical. I changed her name to Van Beethoven, which was originally Heidi's last name.
Nothing can ease the pain or replace the loss of such a special and dear friend. She was my special baby! A soul mate and she always will be. And if I should get that lucky to meet her again in this lifetime, I surely can't wait.
We will heal in time. I hope she is in a better place now. I will trust that her spirit will visit often.
One thing I know for sure. My heart is your home my little Zoe. Always and Forever!
xoxo
Your Mommy
1 comment:
I'm sorry for your loss. :( I've had to say good-bye to a number of dear animal friends over the years and I know it's hard. ((hug)) - D
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