A FLASH OF CLARITY!

I'm sitting here with 4 workbooks on my desk, [one for lyrics, 2nd for goals, 3rd is my daily journal, (my daily "to do" list and accomplishments) and the 4th is strictly my composing book, keeping track of what music/project I'm working on]

My workspace is cluttered just like my mind. While I'm inspired I'm also extremely frustrated. Too many roads I want to travel, too many projects and ideas. Seeking balance as an artist/performer and music composer.

Re-evaluating my life. I feel that it's time to move on. Start brand new, yet I can't seem to completely let go of the old just yet. And I wonder why? What exactly am I holding onto? Is it fear, faith or denial? I know I will continue making music, being an artist but it will be something different. I feel like I'm pulling a dead horse up hill.

So today I stumbled onto a few music career blogs that inspired me to stop the DOING and get very clear about what I want and why. I started answering a bunch of important questions defining my goals and the motivation behind them.

One particular exercise kept going on with the same question (once you've written down your goals, find the most important one to you), than ask "when I have this (your most important goal), what will that get me?" and you keep asking that question until you get to the core of it, which will most likely be an emotion, not a material thing.

It took me a while to get to the core and I'm still digging. Very interesting and eye opening. While I do want financial freedom, what I really want is artistic freedom. Do what I love. To create without limitations. Express myself. Inspire others.  I love my friends and family and I want to spend quality time with them but I NEED to make music.

It's not something I do because of the money (hahaha, I would've quit a long time ago) It's something I must do regardless, to feed my heart and soul. It's something, I can't live without. And I do belief that I can be financially free by doing what I love. After all success is a mindset. What's your passion? What do you want?

If you are interested about these blogs, feel free to jump on musiccareers.net

Much success!
JVB

Choose Your Battles!

I don't really talk politics for obvious reasons. Everyone has an opinion and it usually ends up in an argument because everyone wants to be right and defend their party and beliefs. Just like religion, it gets ugly and stupid.

What slightly ticks me and amuses me at the same time is all these conspiracy theories. I do find them interesting and don't doubt for a minute that some of those are true. Was 911 an inside job? Maybe, but what am I going to do? Spend the rest of my life chasing ghosts? We will never know for sure.

What about gun control? Just like drugs, if you want them, they are available. Money gets you everything you desire. Do I like guns? No! Guns are dangerous but so are knifes, fireworks, tools, prescription drugs and alcohol.

Yes, let's go back in history and find out what happened to all those countries that had gun control...The government controlled the people. BAM! No brainer.

But lets fast forward and look at whats happening today. People eventually rebelled and stood up for their rights and freedom.

Say what you will, America is the best country I know of, it's the land of opportunity. How many self-made millionaires live here? I'm talking about people who came from nothing, had no or little formal education. I know for fact that wouldn't be an easy task in Germany.

We live in the 21st century. We have evolved. People state that the world is going mad and people are stupid and going crazy...I admit that while technology is a fabulous thing it can also cripple us, especially our new generation. We don't have to use our brain as much, our little robots are doing it all for us. (but let's be for real; the general public doesn't use their brain regardless)so let's not blame stupidity and ignorance on technology.

And if you do have kids, yes; the school system sucks, home school your kid! take charge! OR at least spend quality time with your kid. Don't treat it like a toy, something you hardly have time to play with. My parents worked hard and didn't have much time for me. I didn't end up a gangster or drug addict. They taught me basic manners, even when they were a slight mess themselves.

Another solution for you! Don't have kids if you can't afford them! Sounds a little harsh? Maybe.

Well, I'm getting off the subject here....the world is going mad???? C'mon...let's not forget back in the days when woman (and man) got hanged for being accused of being witches..AND people came to watch the hangings. That's supposed to be normal?

How about when people were being humiliated and torchered in public AND the public would watch it with enthusiasm like a football game. THAT'S MAD!

Humans have always been the worst creatures alive on earth, it's nothing new. We are driven by emotions, such as fear, greed, love, hate. Emotions start wars. Emotions can also create peace. Life is light and darkness. There will always be good and evil. It is up to us individuals to pick and choose our battles. We all go through highs and lows. We all mess up. We all experience pain and disappointment. But how much time do you want to spend living in misery and fear breeding hatred?

Why not enjoy life while we've got it. Stand up and fight for your beliefs, make a difference in the world. Just don't sit there complain about the world, waiting for the sky to fall. Don't play the victim. Get in the drivers seat and do something that matters. Be the best YOU can be. Do the things YOU do have control over.

Find purpose in your own life, a creative, fulfilling outlet that makes you thrive , stimulates your mind and takes your mind off all the negativity we are exposed to daily. It's easy to get sucked into it.

What do you want people to remember you by when you're gone?

The person that always thought the sky was falling or the person that always saw the good in people and life? A loving, caring, kind, smart, creative, innovative and inspiring soul that made a difference in someones life?

Spend less time watching the news, worrying about the things that may or may not happen...the things you can't control. Spend more time BEING in the moment with the people that matter to you most. Dream big. Paint beautiful pictures of how you want your life to be and go for it.

Do the things that make you FEEL GOOD and spread that good vibration.

Choose your thoughts, friends and actions wisely. And remember, your mind is your most powerful weapon on earth!

JVB

Zoe Van Beethoven

Zoe was an extremely special kittie. I'm a huge animal lover and actually prefer animals over humans, I could not live without them. They have taught me love, unconditional love, they bring me happiness, joy, cheer and laughter. I love their uniqueness and their instinct.

My cats are my best friends; I enjoy their company and love watching them, playing with them, having conversations with them. To anyone who doesn't have pets it seems a bit strange and probably crazy. But just like people have kids, people have pets who are their kids.



I could be in the shittiest mood, the minute one of my cats walks up to me, I have a huge smile on my face.

I had four cats at one point, Freeway left us in 2005. He was so sweet and brought so much joy into my life. He was actually my first cat in the US.

Zoe was my third and very special. I found her (together with my ex) in Jersey City. We got home late that night after rehearsal, parked the car and heard a loud "meow" while walking to our place. We looked around but didn't see anything, and there it was again a loud "meow". Our street was pretty quite and I believe it was winter time. There was a cute little kittie under a street light, we walked over and she jumped into my exes arms immediately...that was it.



She had a tag with her name and number. At the time we had two cats, Freeway and Heidi, so we figured, maybe she just got lost, we called the number to return her but the number was disconnected. We even did a reverse look-up online and found her address, drove by the house the next day but the owner was gone. Put in jail, which we found out from the neighbors.



It was obvious that ZOE found herself a new home;) At first I thought she was a strange looking kittie. She didn't care for the other cats at all. She'd totally ignore them. It was pretty funny. She seemed to be a "people" cat. Perfect as the only cat in the house. I taught her to be more affectionate by picking her up, petting her, holding her and kissing her. In the beginning it seemed that she just wanted to be left alone but slowly she started to love the attention.

I started to work from home a lot and Zoe started to hang out with me, all day. It was so cool; that's when I started to feel close to her, she became a really cool and close companion of mine. I'd look forward to working and seeing her next to me.

She was so fluffy and light. Her eyes big like a potato bug, lol Her markings were all off; she looked like she was wearing a tuxedo. She'd walk so funny, one foot in front of the other. When she'd run it looked like she was dancing. So precious, elegant and gracious. She'd hide and sleep in the closet, all the way on top.

What I found out later....



Zoe loved music and was extremely musical, I discovered that in LA. When I moved into an apartment and started recording and teaching at home, Zoe would always be around and she'd totally be into it.



I had a friend who I recorded, whenever we'd start recording vocals, Zoe would go crazy, running around, playing with her toy (the one with the bell inside it), she'd chase her tail or rub up against my friend. At one point we had to lock her out cause she was so noisy, lol it was hilarious.



I'd work on music, turn around to see if she's responding. If she didn't I knew it wasn't good enough. She became my muse. Whenever I'd teach I'd look over and she'd be hanging from the chair either bored, annoyed or excited, it would make me laugh (of course often I had to pretend I didn't see that, lol) Sometimes she'd leave the room, lol



I'd look into her eyes and we'd totally communicate. It sounds crazy but I've never felt so much love in my life. I did feel the same way with Freeway.

Zoe, Johnny and Heidi became really good friends, what a great feeling to wake up with all of them, and catching them hanging out together.




Another funny thing was that she loved plastic. She'd chew on anything that's plastic. I'd come home from shopping, empty the bags and she'd be on it or in it chewing away. She loved food, she'd beg while we're eating and of course I'd always give in. She'd wake me up in the morning meowing, walk all over me, lay one me and stare in my face....kinda saying "get up, I'm hungry" .lol Once she meowed so loud and long I was stunned...I called Jim and told him she's got the most amazing singing voice. I swear it sounded like she was singing me a song. She was very vocal.

Zoe loved catnip. lol She'd go crazy, she'd roll around in it and just stare, looking all stoned. lol

I'd sit down meditate or watch a movie, she'd jump in my lap and chill. I'd work out, she's sit on my mat watching me...lol She'd watch me work on the computer and meow and jump on my lap.

I'd make a new dress or outfit and she'd sit there watch me, sitting in the fabric and just purr, play with it.



I'd work on music for hours she'd come up and sit next to the computer. She loved to be near me, near people, near music. I'd have people over, she'd sit either on their bag, guitar case, shoes or lap. lol

Johnny loved her big time. He'd cramp her style and squeeze in just to be next to her. So cute.













She'd hang out on the chair and just go crazy, biting and kicking the shit out of it, it was so funny. We'd spin the chair and she'd get even more into it.

Every time I'd walk to the fridge she'd come running, I'd hand feed her turkey and she'd bite my finger and purr so loud. She was a little monster. She'd often camp out by the food bowl acting like she's starving. lol





I'd have food in the garbage, get up the next morning and find the garbage can turned upside down on the kitchen floor. She chewed up all the chicken bones. Crazy!

She loved turkey...even during her last days, she still had an healthy appetite.

When she got sick, I'd ask her every night before going to bed to not give up on me cause I'm not giving up on her, and sure enough I'd wake up, walk in the kitchen at 7:30 am to give her her medicine and she'd be there for me, fighting through it. Cats are tough but I realized that it was selfish of me to keep her existing like this just to have her around. I wanted her to be well again but realized I had to let her go. It was and still is heartbreaking.



I am grateful for our 15 years together. No one can take that from us and nothing will ever replace her.

I am so grateful for Heidi and Johnny, they miss her too, my apartment feels empty without her here. I used to call her my little panda...because sometimes when she'd sleep she totally looked like one.

I originally named her Zoe Van Bowie but she was way too musical. I changed her name to Van Beethoven, which was originally Heidi's last name.

Nothing can ease the pain or replace the loss of such a special and dear friend. She was my special baby! A soul mate and she always will be. And if I should get that lucky to meet her again in this lifetime, I surely can't wait.



We will heal in time. I hope she is in a better place now. I will trust that her spirit will visit often.

One thing I know for sure. My heart is your home my little Zoe. Always and Forever!
xoxo
Your Mommy

Here's to a prosperous 2011!!!

Funny; every year we make New Years Resolutions, some we follow, a few we accomplish, some we ignore completely. There's an interesting mechanism inside of us that seems to hold us back from the very things we desire. It's easy to get off track. I know from my own experience. In this day and age I find life extremely distracting. Our smart phones, all our Social Networking sites and life in general.

What do we really strive for? While one of my main goals is to become financially free, first and foremost I want to be happy, healthy and live a life full of passion, laughter, fun, adventure and love. Art is love. In all it's forms. I want to create and accomplish the things I once thought were impossible. We are capable of way more than we think.



A lot of my friends tell me often how I'm always so positive and energetic, and yes, usually I am but I have a dark side too. We all do, it's nature. It's the law of rhythm...what goes up must come down, high and low, in and out. We either grow or die. It's the law. In everything. This law (call it god if you like) works no matter what. You reap what you sow. What you think you create, your attitude, what you say and how you see yourself reflects everything around you.




I work with this Law on a daily basis now and I'm amazed how much I've accomplished since than. The movies "The Secret" and "What The Bleep" as well as the book "THINK AND GROW RICH" have changed my life.

I have found a man that speaks to me. He teaches this law. He has become my mentor. I believe he's the best in his field. His name is Bob Proctor (you might recognize him from the movie The Secret)

Here's my gift to you! Go check it out for yourself. Use the Free Trial. None of us should feel lack of any sort in our lives. We all deserve to live in a world of abundance. Make 2011 your year! All the tools we need are right here! You owe it to yourself to truly Live Your Dream! So here it is!!!

xoxo
Happy 2011
JVB

SIX MINUTES TO SUCCESS

Bliss!

Ten years have gone by since I've last seen the person I once called my "other half". The person that is the very reason I'm here in the US. The person I've shared thousands of nights, secrets, tears, laughters and drinks with. One of the few people that truly know me. While it's been such a long time it felt like yesterday. I haven't felt this happy and complete in a long time. I am so grateful to have her back in my life and I look forward to many more adventures!

PS: It's time to continue writing " The Adventures of an Illegal Alien".

xXx
JVB

Questions for today

Certain things in life are a one time opportunity. We either take it, cherish and nourish it or ignore it. Before you make a decisions, think carefully what you are about to win or lose.

Are you settling for less?

Are you living up to your own standards and values?

Am I? Question for the day!

The Adventures of an Illegal Alien - part 1

The adventures of an illegal alien

NY NY; start spreading the news! I was singing the Frank Sinatra tune with my Burlesque group “Extremities” back in Hanover, Germany. 3000 eyes peeled on me, none of them knew that what I’m singing is more than just a tune. I am about to go to NYC. Can you imagine how great it felt to belt out that song? I add this day to one of the most exciting days in my life. My friend Sarah and I were ready for a big change, in a big way, heading to the big apple. We had planned it for a while and were ready for the big times.

We had plenty of motivation and reason for our major move. We were both bored of Germany, the scene, our jobs. But the biggest of them all was love. We both fell in love. Our guys lived in the USA and to make our dreams come true we had to follow our heart. There was no doubt in our mind.

The minute I stepped foot onto NYC ground, I knew I was home. The traffic, the city lights, the energy, the vastness, I can’t even put it into words. I grew up in a small town in East Germany. I escaped East Germany before the Berlin wall came down and ended up moving to Hannover. Hannover is a beautiful town and seemed big at first but the longer I lived there, the smaller it became. I always dreamed about the big world. I knew it existed. And here I was.

It’s like a little kid going to the biggest toy store in the world.

Of course, being adventurous and fearless we decided to stay in the heart of it all. 42nd street.

Back than in the mid 90’s, it was still a dirty and somewhat dangerous place to be. But where’s the fun if we don’t experience this? I only knew of the Manhattan Streets from movies, the smoke coming out of the sewer. Now I was there, I could stand in the smoke, breathe in the air, get my coffee and donut anywhere on the street from one of those cool stands. I felt like being in a movie.

We checked into a Hotel right on 42nd, the elevator smelled like old carpet, a few very strange looking people were in it. NO not strange, just different. A transvestite and a business man to be correct. Still, we were clueless. We opened our room, a small, dirty room with all kinds of stains on the floor, roaches racing up and down the walls, just not what we expected. But it’s cool. We are in NYC; we didn’t come here to sleep anyway. We changed our clothes, left our luggage on the bed hoping the roaches wouldn’t bother crawling up the bed.

Off we went, exploring the big apple. All I felt was happiness and excitement. I’ve never seen a city like it, so big at the time. I had never seen so many people of so many cultures in one place.
It was like a dream come true. We had a few friends in the city and let them know we had arrived. John was one of them. A big shot Manager for some big shot bands. He invited us over to his house and we were happy to go, anything was better than being in that filthy little shoebox called hotel room plus he’ll probably take us someplace cool. (so we hoped) It turned out that John had a slight crush on Sarah but neither Sarah nor I wanted to spend the first night in the big apple in his apartment. He was way older than us; she had no interest in being his little pet.

Off we went on our own, in our funky outfits, just the two of us and the big city, no idea where to go, we just walked all over the place, still better than sitting in some dirty old mans apartment.

After walking around for hours, exploring, we were exhausted enough to just crash out in that scary room and anxious to move onto the next one early in the morning. It turned out; the hotel we stayed in was a pay by the hour hotel or in plain English a whore house.

How funny is that? Well, to us it was.

Getting down with the Monkeys

Our trip to the LA Zoo was refreshing and a lot of fun. I haven't really been doing anything fun lately and considering we only live 5 miles from the Zoo, kinda pathetic we haven't gone there sooner. The line wasn't that long, well we got there around 3pm, still was packed inside. Got monkeys on my mind...so that was our first destination. It took us a while to find them and when we finally got to them they weren't in the mood to show off anymore. Well, the elephant, peacock, tiger and a few other entertainers made up for it. I had a BLAST. It must have been the time, it looked like the Zoo was running out of animals. lol We'll go again. 10am sometime in june;)